I'm a member of 9 different firearms related boards. All of them have this same argument. However, one guy on another board actually tried out different loads in a real world test. He lives in a rural area, and they get a LOT of feral dogs, especially big ones. He's had to put down a lot of dogs, so he tested various ammo on them. Of the animals he's shot, he noticed that the faster the bullet is driven, the more likely it is to expand. That's why the 125 gr .357 Mag load does so well. It's going so fast, it expands well. The only problem is it's a revolver round, so you only have 6 rounds, have to use a speed loader (if you have one), and the recoil is pretty stout. And for the 9mm, you have to use +P+ to get decent speed, and you'll beat the crap out of your gun, as most 9mms are not designe for this kind of abuse. And if you want a high powered .40 S&W, get a 10mm. Guns designed for the 10mm are designed to take the abuse. Just upgrade the springs on most of them, and you'll shoot factory 10mm 175gr Silvertips to your hearts content.
Jim