[GoldCoast]

You know that adult cartoon called King of the Hill? Its been on for about 15 years and I think they stopped making new episodes in 2009 or 2010 but there are a lot of them. The main character named Hank Hill has 3 friends who he hangs out with and this one friend named Dale Gribble has a wife who has been cheating on him for 14 years as the story goes but he is too naive to notice even though it happens right under his nose and his son doesnt look anything like him! But nobody will tell him that his wife is cheating on him. Not because they dont like him but because they dont want to get involved. Its just a cartoon I know but it shines a light on a situation that I have personally experienced and I've seen people react both ways. They either tell the friend that its happening or they just stay out of it and let nature take its course. Granted most people arent as dense and naive as Dale Gribble but some people refuse to acknowledge that their loved one is cheating.

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or family memeber was being cheated on and how did you handle it? Should the person be made aware that its happening if its up to you? The way I look at it, if 2 people are in what is supposed to be a monogamous relationship or they are married and my friend is being cheated on I would feel terrible if I let it continue without telling that person. I would certainly want someone to tell me! I have told a friend that his girlfriend was cheating once. I told a girl-friend(not girlfriend) that her boyfriend was cheating. I can understand people might not want to deal with the consequences of being the one who blew the whistle though. Thank God I have never had to tell someone who was in a long marriage with kids that their spouse was cheating!

 

[regency]

Having it done to me and no friends would tell me and a friend is who done this to me, i can honestly say i lost ALOT of friends over this because noone would come forward and tell me. And i knew they all knew what was going on and i knew they did.

If it was me i would tell the person whats going on. Itll work out and you'll keep your bud....

 

[old grump]

Now you know why I am grumpy. 5 years cheated on and nobody told until it was a moot point. I never got along with people who would cheat on their spouses, didn't find it a bit amusing or alright in any way. Then it turns out my spouse was the biggest cheating lying dishonorable vow breaker in the bunch. Tell a friend he or she was getting cheated on, yes, without hesitation.

 

[Risasi]

Agreed, tell him or her. If you really care about them and you really are a friend. But make sure you have your facts straight.

 

[LunaticFringeInc]

Id give the cheater a chance to stand corrected, but after that as a friend I would tell my friend, in fact I would feel morally obligated to tell my friend. Its not about being a hater or breaking up a relation ship, but if they are truely your friend you owe them at least your honesty if nothing else. At least thats the way I see it...

 

[woodstock]

I am just recently divorced (September) because my wife had been cheating for close to a year before I found out. She still denies it even though she is still dating/living with the same guy. Yes, tell your friend. They may be mad at you for it but they will eventually realize that you were doing them a favor.

 

[GoldCoast]

Id give the cheater a chance to stand corrected, but after that as a friend I would tell my friend, in fact I would feel morally obligated to tell my friend. Its not about being a hater or breaking up a relation ship, but if they are truely your friend you owe them at least your honesty if nothing else. At least thats the way I see it...

I have seen a few people simply refuse to believe that their girlfriend or boyfriend was cheating and they instead became angry at the person who told them about it saying that he or she was just trying to break them up or whatever! Then the person being cheated on breaks off the friendship because of it. But later once he or she realizes the truth, then occasionally they come back and apologize and thank the friend for looking out for them. But not always! You do have to have some sort of proof and have your facts straight. But its definitely the right thing to do, to tell the person if they are a friend, because even if someone calls you a home wrecker or whatever, it obviously wasnt a good relationship to begin with if someone has to cheat!

 

[GoldCoast]

Now you know why I am grumpy. 5 years cheated on and nobody told until it was a moot point. I never got along with people who would cheat on their spouses, didn't find it a bit amusing or alright in any way. Then it turns out my spouse was the biggest cheating lying dishonorable vow breaker in the bunch. Tell a friend he or she was getting cheated on, yes, without hesitation.

I'd be curious to know why the people didnt tell me about it if I was in that case. Did you ever ask them why they kept it from you? Dont get me wrong I'm not immune to being cheated on. In fact I have been cheated on but I am just slightly naturally paranoid so I kinda knew what to look out for, the symptoms if you will. It was pretty obvious, but the relationship wasnt a very good one anyway so I almost expected it and I was just about to cheat too, or break it off! But then she beat me to the punch and cheated first. Thats a whole 'nother topic right there! Why do we stay in bad relationships?

 

[Carpshooter]

Here's what I think !

Yes I would want to know !

 

[usmc0341]

It happened to me. I was in Iraq the 2nd time and a month into the deployment one of my buddies had to go back on emergency leave. I gave hime a key to my house to pick some stuff up and bring back with him for me. He got to my house and went into my bedroom where the stuff was and he noticed guys clothes everywhere in the bedroom and condom wrappers in the trash can. He took pics and also noted that the pants in the room were in 3 very different sizes.

Later that week he went to the e club on base and found my ex making out with 3 different guys thru out the night. Again he took pics and emailed everything to me and so I could cut off all her access to my money before I confronted her. I took her name off of everything and revoked her POA ect. then I called her and asked if she was doing anything, of course she denied it.. So I sent enough pics to prove my point then I told her to go get ****ed and didn't talk to her again until I met her with the divorce papers at a starbucks in the local mall.
Screw cheating whores and I'm glad my buddy told me. Things turned out for the better though and I am now married for the last 3 years to my childhood sweetheart

 

[gorenut]

I think starting it off with the King of the Hill reference might have not been the best example. There is an episode that does address why no one has said anything. As you probably already know, Peggy is just as naive as Dale and when she found out, she was going to tell Dale. When she finally musters the courage to go over, she runs into Dale along with his "son" and essentially sees how good he is to him and how happy they make each other. Not to say its right not to tell, but there is at least a deeper and more complex reason why everyone hushes. When kids are involved, it changes all the dynamics. That said, I would still tell my friends about a cheating significant other. This would also depend on the friend and how close I am. I've seen friendships broken up because the friend didn't believe. I know the easy thing is to say that he or she is not worth keeping around if this is the case, but there might be plenty of other admirable qualities in a person that only falls short when it comes down to bring love-drunk.

 

[NorthernSoutherner]

Yes I would want to know !

I think you missed the point of the thread dude!

 

[NorthernSoutherner]

It happened to me. I was in Iraq the 2nd time and a month into the deployment one of my buddies had to go back on emergency leave. I gave hime a key to my house to pick some stuff up and bring back with him for me. He got to my house and went into my bedroom where the stuff was and he noticed guys clothes everywhere in the bedroom and condom wrappers in the trash can. He took pics and also noted that the pants in the room were in 3 very different sizes.

Later that week he went to the e club on base and found my ex making out with 3 different guys thru out the night. Again he took pics and emailed everything to me and so I could cut off all her access to my money before I confronted her. I took her name off of everything and revoked her POA ect. then I called her and asked if she was doing anything, of course she denied it.. So I sent enough pics to prove my point then I told her to go get ****ed and didn't talk to her again until I met her with the divorce papers at a starbucks in the local mall.
Screw cheating whores and I'm glad my buddy told me. Things turned out for the better though and I am now married for the last 3 years to my childhood sweetheart

Maybe its just me but I think what happened to you is way worse than the average John getting cheated on cause you were over in Iraq putting your life on the line and probably not getting laid in the mean time, while your ex was screwing around with more than one man! Thats messed up.

The worst thing that happened to me was when I met this girl about in 1998 and she then met my highbrow, but lowlife brother and they started screwing around and he even played games and tried rubbing it in, but he wouldnt admit outright when I asked him. But he knew stuff about her that I had never told him. A few years later it was confirmed, and for that and other reasons I dont deal with him at all.

He had a girlfriend at that time too, and now he and his girlfriend are married, but he is still having an affair with that same girl I was dating way back then! But at least I only went out with that girl a few months so it wasnt like we were married or engaged. In 2009 I found a picture of that girl, and although she used to be cute, she's a skank now. I'd call that karma!

 

[NorthernSoutherner]

I think starting it off with the King of the Hill reference might have not been the best example. There is an episode that does address why no one has said anything. As you probably already know, Peggy is just as naive as Dale and when she found out, she was going to tell Dale. When she finally musters the courage to go over, she runs into Dale along with his "son" and essentially sees how good he is to him and how happy they make each other. Not to say its right not to tell, but there is at least a deeper and more complex reason why everyone hushes. When kids are involved, it changes all the dynamics. That said, I would still tell my friends about a cheating significant other. This would also depend on the friend and how close I am. I've seen friendships broken up because the friend didn't believe. I know the easy thing is to say that he or she is not worth keeping around if this is the case, but there might be plenty of other admirable qualities in a person that only falls short when it comes down to bring love-drunk.

You are right, Dale from King of the Hill wasnt a good example. That situation is very "delicate" so to speak! Dale would NEVER be able to find another woman who would support him like his wife does if he left her, and he'd probably lose his son(and his mind because he's a conspiracy freak)!

 

[Ice]

It's a tough situation. You could lose a friendship eather way.