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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
All, I lost my wife of 25+ years last month. I've been pretty devastated and haven't shown much interest in things other than her and the horrific administrivia associated with the loss of a loved one. I am so glad she is not having to go through all of this. There is a new "normal" that will never approach the joy and love we had together. Her love of horses keeps me going, and the living legacy of her love is a horse named Hawk - one we got as a companion for our first love, Mac, who passed last Thanksgiving, this land she found, and our two barn kitties who are now over 15 years old.

Perhaps I will come back to this forum as much as I had been, but for now, I'm in mourning and dealing with a life without my beloved by my side. I check periodically, but am not as active as in the past.

She is in God's Heaven, with her beloved ones and surrounded with love we could never imagine in this mortal life. That certainty keeps me going.

Thank you for your patience. I'll get through this and be back some day. Thought you should know about my relative silence on this forum of brothers and supporters.

Bob
 

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Brother Bob,
I am so sorry to hear that you have lost the earthly companionship of your beloved wife. I will miss you and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. My heart breaks for you. My wife is my best friend, and we are inseparable. Were the LORD Jesus to call her to be with Him I would be so lonely. I am hopeful that the knowledge that she is where she so longed to be and that she was no longer suffering this evil world would console me and help me limp along. Additionally, I know that in such an event I would be joining her very soon as I am confident that the Rapture is so very close at hand. Stay strong my brother and I am here for you if you need an ear. 😢
 
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Sorry for your loss. Sending love and prayers your way

~ Beck
 
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Formerly "raf"
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Please accept my condolances and prayers. You are going through a tough time right now, and if there is any way to help you, please don't hesitate one second in asking.
 

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Sorry for your loss,, None of our words can fill the void, but maybe they will let you know that at least you have some friends who care.

Randy
 
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Hang in there!!!

You're going through the most difficult life experience for a man.

I've tried to imagine life without my wife......I can't.

Take care of yourself and Hawk and the kittles........she would want that.
 
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks to all. I pass by from time to time, but it will take some time until I am as active as I had been. You are family, but taking care of Hawk and the kitties are what JoAnne would have commanded as Job #1. Something I agree with 100%. Doing those "chores" of love keeps me going, and that love responds.

She had a life-long passion and dream of having a horse in her life. Our Mac gave her that, with Hawk becoming his BFF years later, when we moved to this farm through God's guidance. There are many lasting legacies of her, this farm included, that I experience each and every day.

I'll be okay, but will be forever changed - both physically and spiritually. My labors of love for our horse Hawk are much about my pledge to her (and our departed Mac) that I would take care of him. Between him and our two barn kitties (that have become even more loving), that is what keeps me going.

Guns, right now, take a back seat to all of which I am experiencing at this point.

Thanks for being family.

Bob
 

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I believe that all your friends here want the best for you.. I lost my Sister, just recently, who married her high school sweetheart.
He is doing his best to get over his loss, by staying strong, somehow. I think my Sister told him, in her last moments, to live his life to the fullest, and to not grieve over-much for her passing. After all, by their mutual reckoning, she is in rhe hands of God, and I reckon well-received.

All of us have suffered losses, and we all want the best for you, in your time of loss and pain.

Please let us know if we can help in anyway posible.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Saw a trusted lawyer today to update my will and see what adjustments need to be made for our trust. It was tough, but he was good and will work to do the things we both wanted. We were the poster child for the need to keep a Trust updated (which we didn't). Not as bad as I thought, though and he will take care of things.

I still sleep a lot, but it is fitful at best, and heat-pump sounds in the night awaken me wondering if she is up. There is a bit of a "brain-fog" as I go through this. Caring for our surviving horse and the barn kitties helps.

She was in a LOT of chronic pain, and I certainly don't miss hearing her cry out in pain as she turned over in her sleep. And her last few days at home were in excruciating agony. There is the ole saw "she is no longer in pain", and it is appropriate, but that is the least of her journey into the loving embrace of Jesus, surrounded with love more incredible than we could ever imagine.

After three heart attacks, I was sort of emotionally braced that she would pass from this mortal life before me. A massive stroke came out of the blue, but she was a Calvinist, accepting God's will that it was "her time". I do too, but it doesn't help the hurt.

As for grief, I went through this with my parents, our Fi (avatar), our Scruffy, and our Mac - our first love together. I have come to realize that grief is, to put it harshly, a selfish emotion for one who truly believes their loved one is in Heaven - which I do. It is perfectly natural of course, but knowing JoAnne is in God's Heaven, surrounded with love more than we could ever imagine, and with her Mac and our Fi and our Scruffy and her parents and all of the loved ones of her life that have passed, is comforting.

Still, an empty house is tough. I talk to her each and every day, as most widowers/widows do, and spend much of my time in my shop and the barn for things other than sleep. It is a natural reaction. It is comforting - something I most need these days.

Thank you for all your prayers. She is still with me, and always will be, and living an eternal life filled with endless trail rides with her Mac, cuddles with our Fi and Scruffy, and patiently awaiting me.

I'm good!

Bob
 
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