Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed
the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck,
and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 20 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is
out fishing in that mess?'

I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I've stopped fishing.

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Guns have only two enemies, rust and politicians.

NRA
Vietnam Veteran
U.S. Army (Ret.)

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...magnomark...

...Just take the shot...
Don't bother me-I'm reloading!

I told my wife that I was either wanting to go fishing or perhaps staying home with the idea of ..., she told me to take a sweatshirt, it's chilly out this time of day

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"I have no issues with people of all types being here, I do have a problem with the more extreme ends of any spectrum trying to dominate and push out moderates and opposites." Bill Plein

My hunting buddy's wife and my wife give us that treatment when we start talking about going out...

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. A good anvil never fears The Hammer. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ! Semper Gumby كاف

LOL
The trick now is to wait in the bedroom with your Boom stick and wait for the REAL guy to arrive.

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I've already had a couple offers for the boat.

__________________
Guns have only two enemies, rust and politicians.

NRA
Vietnam Veteran
U.S. Army (Ret.)

I'd keep the boat and get rid of the wife........

I've been divorced, once a cheater, allways a cheater, never fails.

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"Foxhole religion should be a constant state of mind"

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.....

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. A good anvil never fears The Hammer. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ! Semper Gumby كاف

I was reffering to my ex, like the ol' song,...."I got a woman who won't be true".....

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"Foxhole religion should be a constant state of mind"

Was that written by the same guy that wrote, "How can I miss you if you won't go away"?

__________________
Guns have only two enemies, rust and politicians.

NRA
Vietnam Veteran
U.S. Army (Ret.)

I dunno, but I wish....."all my ex's live in Texas".....it'd make life in Oregon a LOT easier,...

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"Foxhole religion should be a constant state of mind"

Well, on that note, thought I'd add a list of country songs on the subject. Can't vouch that all exist, but I remember many from when I worked in Texas and we used to talk about them.

I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better

She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

If I Had Shot You When I Wanted to, I’d Be out By Now

You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

All My Exes Live in Texas

I Thought She Was Out Jogging,
But She Was Running Around On Me

If the Phone Don’t Ring, It’s Me Not Calling You Up

If Love were Oil, I’d be a Quart Low

How Come Your Dog Don’t Bite Nobody But Me?

I’m Gettin’ Gray From Being Blue

If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?

I Sat Down On a Beartrap (Just This Morning)

Mama Get The Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)

She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart

If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin,
Wonder Whose I’d Find On You

I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You

Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

Gave Her My Heart And a Diamond
And She Clubbed Me With a Spade

It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long

If Whiskey Were A Woman I’d Be Married For Sure

Forget the Night, Help Me Make It Through the Door

I Can’t Love Your Body if Your Heart’s Not In It

I Just Fell In Something and I Sure Hope It’s Love

I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like Having You Here

Since You Bought The Waterbed We’ve Slowly Drifted Apart

I'm sure there are more. You left out all the other ones mentioning the dog!

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. A good anvil never fears The Hammer. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ! Semper Gumby كاف

But only a classic can get Mama, prison, my dog, getting drunk, going fishing, my truck, a train, and she done left me all in one song.

David Allen Coe came real close with, "You Never Even Call Me By My Name". Heven't heard it in years though.

__________________
Guns have only two enemies, rust and politicians.

NRA
Vietnam Veteran
U.S. Army (Ret.)

If I'd listed the ones mentioning dogs or trucks, I may just crash the whole internet

However, I forgot to list one on the list above: Johnny Cash's "Flushed from the Bathroom of Your Heart."

How 'bout "She got the gold mine, I got the (Large Hadron Collider) shaft"?

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It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain